Requiem for self-destruction
by freedomqueen
Summary: AU. In which Regina befriends David. She tries to be a better mom, a better person, even, maybe for the first time, a friend. Everything may change when a feeling stronger than friendship appears. Weakness or strength? Evil Queen independent personality. Henry/Regina relationship development.
1. Chapter 1

**Requiem for self-destruction**

_**Chapter 1**_

David rested his body against the white door. He let out a tired sigh. He didn't understand, he was trying his best but he simply couldn't. Why did he push Regina away when she tried to kiss him? The Mayor was undoubtedly an attractive and sensual woman besides just powerful.)

Yes, David had left Kathryn.

Yes, he was now trying to start something with the only person in this whole mess that felt right: Mary Margaret Blanchard.

Why had Regina wanted to kiss him? Because she wanted to, right? Or maybe was he the one who had confused her? They have been friends since he had woken up from the coma. Well, actually she was Kathryn's friend but she had been there for him when he had no clue about what to do with Kathryn and Mary Margaret. Yeah... they may not be friends but close enough to it. So, yes, he let himself feel strange about Regina's reaction.

David started walking away from her front door when he heard the sound of glass breaking. Without even daring to take one more step away, he turned around and entered the mansion. "Regina... what the he-" But he was incapable of finishing what he was saying. Regina turned her gaze from the now broken mirror and fiercely glared at him.

She couldn't stand how he looked at her, worried, concerned. _Prince Charming concerned for The Evil Queen?_ She mentally slapped herself. This concern came from David, not the arrogant Charming. Not the Prince she hated for bringing Snow White such happiness. She hated him for everything. Snow White married a simple and poor shepherd, made him a Prince, and has been happy ever since. Just that simple. Why was life so unfair to her, time after time? Why couldn't she simply marry her stable boy and live happily ever after? Snow has always had what she deeply wanted: pure, simple and endless love. No matter what happened they would always find each other.

She couldn't look Charming in the eye. They were so kind... they reminded her of Daniel, her true and only love.

"Have you forgotten something...Charming?" She added with a venomous and raspy voice, murderous eyes scanning him like a huntsman would have looked at its prey.

David took a cautious step towards Regina, he couldn't believe the rage, rejection and very deep inside, almost imperceptible... there was pain. Lots of it.

"Regina" he tried again reaching for her hand and checked to see if there were any scratches. "Are you okay?" Honest concern was heard in his voice, she noticed. "Better than okay..." she answered withdrawing her hand from his grasp as if something had burned her olive and soft skin. She could no deal with this closeness. She was not the kind of person fancy in touching. She felt intimidated and she did not like that feeling: the feeling of being trapped, powerless. The feeling of succumbing to love, to weakness.

Her heart ached. His strong and rough hand only brought Daniel to her memory. Again and again. She couldn't let herself think about Daniel. She shouldn't, for every time she did so, she ended up crying like a little baby who misses his mom, or dad knowing that they have long gone away and they would never came back. Yeah, that was the feeling: loss. She had lost someone who will never come back to her. There is no way of coming back from the dead. Death is death, there's no middle term. Daniel was dead, and so was her heart.

David frowned and tried to grab her hand again but she was already standing right next to the door, pointing towards the exit with her delicate hand. "It's time for you to go home, Mr. Nolan. I don't want to make Mary Margaret angry." She explained a little softer than she wanted to, but still dryly. She couldn't treat her stable boy... shepherd like that. David obliged. "Regina... I'm really sorry." He tried to apologize for his rejection but the door slammed right behind him without any trace of The Mayor.

He was confused. He walked to his truck and his answer immediately appeared: the Sheriff, Graham, was entering the house with his, apparently, own keys.

A light turned on in one of the second floor rooms, Regina's, he supposed the minute he saw the shadow of a woman. After a several minutes another shadow joined hers. Of course, the Sheriff.

Annoyed he turned on the engine of his truck, giving a last look to the window where two shadows desperately looked for love... or sex.

David was upset. Why on Earth had Regina invited him for dinner? Why had she wanted to kiss him if in less than 5 minutes, when she already had the Sheriff walking in through the front door?

* * *

"Regina... this must end." Graham sighed while he was putting on his clothes without looking to the brunette who was lying in bed with her head resting in her hand and her elbow resting on the soft pillow.

She was looking at him confused. Graham tried to explain himself better. "I don't feel anything. There is nothing to feel when you kiss me or when we lie in bed... Anything." Regina stood up on her feet quickly and walked to Graham, standing right in front of him. "Is this sudden change of feeling because of Miss Swan?" She asked, resting her hands on his strong chest. Graham tried to back off, but she gently gripped him by his forearms. She laid a kiss on his cheek, making herself a little taller by lifting herself up on her tiptoes, slowly tracing more kisses down his chest... Graham sighed in response and without a warning he pushed her away, finishing buttoning up his shirt. "I'm sorry Regina. I can't do this any longer." He left the room without any more explanations. Regina embraced herself, feeling that sadness again... the feeling when someone chooses another person over you. Not necessarily a person... sometimes it was power over her. The feeling of that weakness again. She was not weak and she will definitely not forgive this betrayal.

_You want to play, Miss Swan. Okay... lets play, then._ She thought.

Dust, like dark black sand. Ashes. She had forgotten how it felt like. She had forgotten about that sense of control. She could swear she had almost forgotten how to do it. That night a heart in her vault stopped beating, for good.

**To Be Continued.**

**Author's Note:**This is my first attempt to an EvilCharming fic. Actually, my very first attempt to any fic. English is not my first language so I'll ask you to bear with any mistakes you may find :) I've chapter 2 in progress so it will be updated as soon as possible and I promise it would be longer. I think I've nothing more to say. Enjoy! :D

Comments are accepted. Constructive ones, especially. Don't be hard on my, please! XoXo,**Juli**.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

Later that night Regina woke up at the sound of shouts and strong knocks to her front door. She blinked, trying to remember where she was and what had happened. She grabbed her silky grey gown, and trying to prevent waking Henry up, she went downstairs as fast as she could. But to her surprise, her son was already standing at the bottom of the staircase with his sleepy eyes trying to make sense of what was going on.

She reached out for him, as quickly as her legs allowed her to do and softly grabbed Henry's arm. "Sweetheart, stay here." She ordered trying to sound as calm as possible. She was scared, for the last few weeks she had been dreaming that her curse was finally broken. The Savior would forced her into eating a poisoned apple (non less than hers) and then she was trapped in the netherworld, forever powerless, forever weak, surrounded by memories she would rather forget about: her abusing mother, her non-protective father, Rumplestiltskin and his magic lessons… and Daniel. She could bear all that nightmares except for those ones that brought _her_ Daniel back. No, not those ones when she relived, over and over, her regrets. Her deepest ones, the ones capable of inflicting real pain, the ones that made her vulnerable and those regrets, truly speaking, scared the hell out of her. Regret of not being able to stand up for him. Regret of not being able to protect him from her mother, from Snow, from the entire world. She just couldn't. She had failed him in the worst of ways, and the price had been terrible for both of them: death for one and for the other, being incapable of love again. Darkness, hatred, and pain, was all that was left.

She wished she could have saved him. She just wished she could say to him that everything would be alright. She wished… even now, she still wishes.

More intense knocks and shouts brought her back to reality if it was possible to call 'reality' the hell she was living- the hell that was her daily life. Maybe _she_ was the hell itself.

She did not know who could be but she was more afraid for her son than for herself.

"OPEN UP REGINA OR I SWEAR TO THE GODS I'LL BURN THIS FUCKING DOOR DOWN!" That was her answer, her heartbeat rushed, pupils dilated by fear. She would burn in hell rather than admit the fact that she was scared of the mighty Savior. _Savior who did not even believe_, she thought.

"Emma?" Henry asked half-whispering, more to himself than to her mother. He took cautious steps to where his mother was standing, right in front the door but not daring to let it open. _What on Earth is she doing here?_ Regina thought, trying to find the strength to pull down that stupid fear of hers. She opened the door, not without putting that cold satisfied smile the Mayor would always had before doing so. "Can I help you, Miss Swan?" she asked taking one more step so she could block the entrance to her house, and most important, to _her_ son.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you would be plenty of help" Emma answered, a fiercely smile on her pale face and without saying one more word she punched Regina in the face and then launched herself into her, sending both of them to the floor.

"SWAN WHAT THE HELL?!" The Mayor tried to interrupt the blonde haired woman while she was trying to defend herself. Emma Swan straddled Regina and slammed her hard against the floor. "YOU KILLED HIM. YOU KILLED HIM" she repeated slamming Regina against the floor every time she said so. "YOU COULDN'T JUST LEAVE IT!" She stopped, trembling hands had Regina trapped against the wooden floor. The deputy's red face contorted with the fury she was feeling. Regina could had swore she felt something wet in her shirt. Tears.

Henry pleaded Emma to let go off of his mom. "Please, mom."

Out of the blue Mary Margaret and David burst into the mansion, doubtless after hearing Emma's shouts. "Emma, LEAVE IT!" The school teacher commanded reaching for Emma's arm trying to pull her off of Regina's body. She managed to do it, the blonde almost not offering resistance, just quite sobs.

David went to Regina and helped her to stand in her feet, an arm grabbed around her slim waist. His other hand occupied in trying to reach her trembling hand.

"Emma, come on!"Mary Margaret took Emma's arms, turning her so she could face her. "This is NOT you" she continued.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Regina asked trying to take a threatening step towards Emma, but David's grip only grew stronger both hand and waist, not letting her move from where she stood. Not to close from the blonde, but not that far either.

She did not understand why but she could definitely felt her magic running truth her veins. She felt a wave of heat spreading through her entire system. It was painful. _Strange_, she thought. There was pleasure in this pain, she would not deny it. She could feel the rage building inside of her. She also could hear a voice. A voice she had not heard since 28 long years. _"Kill her. Kill them. Kill the Charmings. Show no mercy."_ That terrorize her but at the same time it made her feel alive. She was alive and this time, this dammed time, she would win.

Emma's voice brought her back from her track of thoughts. "YOU. You killed Graham. He was perfectly fine with you… and… and…" She sobbed, "When he… he… came back to me, after LEAVING _you_… he just died. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!" Emma looked at Mary Margaret and she could not take it any longer. She broke into tears.

Snow watched at David who was struggling to keep Regina still. She was confused. What Emma, her friend, was saying did not make sense at all. How could Regina have killed Graham if she was not with him? Suddenly and for only a second she felt terrified. She could have sworn she could feel a lot of energy forming in the room. She looked at David and by the expression in his blue eyes, she could tell that he was feeling the same odd way: like if the atmosphere was heavier, darker, threatening.

"Because she _is _The Evil Queen" Henry's quiet voice cut the silence. At that realization he went where Emma was standing. "You really did kill him, Graham, didn't you?" When asking that he look at her mother, trying to find out if she was telling a lie or the truth if she lied, that was not going to surprise him. She had lied to him all the way long, why would he care know? He wished she hadn't done it. He wished but he knew that look better. He knew her, she was his mother after all. He wished she wasn't. He wished he did not love her at all, but he could not because deep down, he did love her and he felt betrayed. He did not deserve this from her. Drowned by his feeling of hatred, he forgot about her suffering, her look of hurt, betrayal. He forgot that even evil queens have feelings. He forgot that she had a heart, too. He may never found out that in that moment, he was breaking her, reducing her to nothing. He forgot or may did not even care. "You did" he finished absently. He heard his mother's breath catching in her throat. He heard but did not care. He was hurting, too.

The energy that once was felt disappeared. Regina's eyes flinch at Henry's words and tears were trying to find a way through her dark brown eyes but she would not cry. Not in front the Charmings. Not this time.

Her heart ached like if it was being squashed. She did know that feeling. Oh… she knew that feeling too well, the feeling when life is leaving your body, when you are left with nothing more than pain, when you have had a glimpse of what could have been and you do not have the courage enough to squash it until there is nothing more than darkness, until the pain ends. Until is over. Her son's words remind her of that. The pain was worst, though, far more painful.

"Henry, don't say that" she said trying to reach out for him but he only took one more step away from her. David not willing to let go off her, fearing that she would go after Emma. "We better go."The blonde haired woman stated while putting a hand above Henry shoulder and squeezing it gently.

"DON'T YOU DARE TAKING MY SON AWAY FROM ME" Regina screamed trying to stop Emma but David did not let go. He held her still, strong but gentle. The sensation of danger spreading through the room again. The magic trying to resurge in her blood, trying to wake that long-away-gone ghost up: The Evil Queen.

**To Be Continued.**

**Author's Note: **So... here is the second chapter. I'm really trying to measure the length, I know it's short but I promise I'll try to make the 3rd one longer. I'm also looking bor a Beta so I do not have to bother my English friends any longer. Please, tell me what did you think and if it is really worth to continue with it :) Oh! I almost forgot. I really want to say a huge THANK YOU to Anny Rodrigues, HeroineGauddess and GoodSpaghetti for taking the time to let me know what did you think of my story. It really means a lot. :) And thanks as well to those ones who had favorited or followed. I think I have nothing more to say. You may notice a little few changes but well... they are for the sake of the story. ;)

Love to all of you!** Juli**.


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